The Notorious Al-Gebra

A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he
attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Home Secretary John Reid said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious "Al-Gebra" movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Met Police with
carrying weapons of Maths instruction. "Al-Gebra is a problem for us,"
Reid said.

"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names
like 'x' and `y` and refer to themselves as `unknowns, `but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval
with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Tony Blair,
speaking from his holiday resort before the planes stopped flying,
said, "If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Maths
Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."