3 Steps to Help Guide a Muslim Child

3 Steps to Help Guide a Muslim Child

via Lingua Islamica by Destination Akhirah on May 29, 2007

These are VERY successful techniques in guiding children towards gaining strong Islamic values and high achievement.

1. Role Modeling

When a child does an action that is un-Islamic, it is better to give the child a role model of someone who acted Islamically.

For example:

When a child lies (and children do lie), I will remind her/him about a child that does not lie. “Remember, that when Abdullah broke the cup he quickly told the truth!” Then the child will speak the truth, it has worked every time.

2. No Praise, Only Encouragement

Praising is not effective. It does neither good nor benefit. What is more useful and highly productive is words encouraging a particular behavior that is of high value.

For instance, instead of saying, “you’re smart” when a child answers a question correctly, say, “I loved the way you took the time to think about that, you really thought hard about it... (smiles) good work!” This will encourage the child to continue with that particular effort.

Especially in reading, “I love the way you slowly sounded that out! I knew if you stayed patient and kept trying you would get it! I love to see you take your time and sound out every letter.. Wow! Fantastic Effort!”

3. Change the Mood

If a child is not interested in school work for instance, and is doing the work at a very slow pace. You may take a piece of candy and say, “This candy has super powers, whomever eats it has the power to think harder, and work faster! I would give you some, but I’m afraid it might make you work too fast!” It is easier to get work done when there is a happy feeling inside. Think of ways to give the child a “happy/peaceful” feeling, and once it is there, the child can work more effectively in becoming a patient, hardworking, happy Muslim.

May Allāh provide for us children who are a comfort to our eyes, and may He make us parents that earn His pleasure, and by His Mercy, may Allāh make us a comfort to the eyes of our children. Āmīn.

posted by Destination Akhirah links to this post

Recipe for a Successful Marriage

by Mufti Ebrahim Desai (db)

"Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You"
(Furqaan 74).

Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?

A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (SAW) to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (SAW) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (SAW) replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi (SAW) said: "Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: " and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey". (Surah Luqman v19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (SAW) said, 'A Mu'min is a mirror for a Mu'min.' (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (SAW) said: "Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah." (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi (SAW) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. "Verily there is a right of your wife over you." (Nasai Hadith2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, 'Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.' (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, 'All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.' (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

Stimulating the Intelligence

Understanding the Prophet's Life
Stimulating the Intelligence

Throughout his mission the Prophet, peace be upon him, sought his
Companion's advice, encouraging them to express their opinions
and paying them careful attention. Furthermore, the Prophet had
evolved a genuine teaching method through which he allowed the
Muslims to develop their critical faculties, express their
talents, and mature in his presence. He would often ask questions
on various subjects and give the answers only after his
Companions had thought by themselves and expressed different
conjectures. Sometimes, more subtly, he would utter a judgment in
a paradoxical form, thereby prompting his listeners to consider
the matter more deeply. For example, he once said: "A strong man
is not a man who overcomes his enemy!" The Companions mulled this
over among themselves, then asked him: "Then who is a strong
man?" The Prophet surprised his audience and led them to a
deeper understanding of the question with his answer: "A strong
man is a man who controls himself when he is angry!"

He would sometimes speak figuratively: "Wealth does not lie in the riches
you possess!" After the Companions pondered this, Muhammad would
elaborate: "True wealth is the wealth of the soul." On occasion
the Prophet's statement appeared to contradict common sense or
ethics: "Help your brother, whether he is just or unjust!" The
Companions could not but wonder about the nature of the help they
were to give an unjust brother: how could that be? The Prophet,
inverting the perspective, would add: "Prevent him [the unjust
brother] from acting unjustly, such is the way for you to help
him!"

Both by asking questions and by formulating paradoxical or
seemingly contradictory statements, the Prophet stimulated his
Companions' critical sense and their ability to go beyond mere
blind obedience or mechanical mind-destroying imitation. This
method developed the intellectual capacities necessary for
consultations to be effective. By stimulating their intelligence
and giving them opportunities to speak, he exercised a type of
leadership that made it possible for his Companions to learn to
assert themselves and take initiative.

Source:
"In the Footsteps of the Prophet" - Tariq Ramadan, pp. 102,103

Frito Lay

This may be old news for some, but the latest from Frito-Lay potato chips:

Frito lay no longer has pork enzymes in their products:

http://fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/ProdDetEv_Cat_306_SubCat_351852_NavRoot_361689_ProdID_564690.htm

New York Times: Rewriting the Ad Rules for Muslim-Americans

New York Times: Rewriting the Ad Rules for Muslim-Americans

Fabrizio Costantini for the New York Times

Alia Fouz and her son at the Ikea store in Canton, Mich. She said ads that included Muslim-Americans would grab her attention. “We should be included,” Ms. Fouz said. “We live here.”


By LOUISE STORY
Published: April 28, 2007
The New York Times

For years, few advertisers in the United States have dared to reach out to Muslims.

Either they did not see much potential for sales or they feared a political backlash. And there were practical reasons: American Muslims come from so many ethnic backgrounds that their only common ground is their religion, a subject most marketers avoid.

That is beginning to change. Consumer companies and advertising executives are focusing on ways to use the cultural aspects of the Muslim religion to help sell their products.

Grocers and consumer product companies are considering ways to adapt their goods to Muslim rules, which forbid among other things, gelatin and pig fat, which is often used in cosmetics and cleaning products. Retailers are looking into providing more conservative skirts, even during the summer months, and mainstream advertisers are planning to place some commercials on the satellite channels that Muslims often watch.

Marketing to Muslims carries some risks. But advertising executives, used to dividing American consumers into every sort of category, say that ignoring this group — estimated to be about five million to eight million people, and growing fast — would be like missing the Hispanic market in the 1990s.

Read more:

• The New York Times: Rewriting the Ad Rules for Muslim-Americans

The Coal Basket

Q: Why do we read Quran, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word??

A: A beautiful story

An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?"

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough,"and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!"

So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

"Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives."

If you feel this email is worth reading, please forward to your contacts/friends. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) says: "The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally"

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Source: Unknown Email

Daughters in Islam

Understanding the Prophet's Life

Daughters in Islam

If it was not for the commands of Allah, stated in the Quran, and
the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him), women would not have been given the preference over men.
Allah's Prophet was reported as saying: " Be fair and just in
terms of the gifts you offer your children. If I was to give
preference to any (gender over the other) I would have preferred
females over males (in terms of gifts). " [Bayhaqi]

Moreover, Allah's Prophet concentrated throughout his teachings
on giving more care and attention to females in general over the
male. Females must be treated with kindness, respect, honor,
dignity, integrity and their needs must be looked after. Allah's
Prophet said: " He whosoever has three daughters, or three
sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and is very kind to
them, demonstrating nice company to them and fears Allah in
their treatment, will enter Paradise (as a result of his good
actions to these females). " [Abu Dawood & Tirmidhi]

Islamic laws and teachings mandate that parents raise their
children in the best manners and offer them a sound, beneficial
and healthy education. Ibn Omar (may Allah be pleased with him),
reported Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) as saying: " The most sinful of you are those who neglect
those whom he is responsible to take care of." [Abu Dawood &
Nasaiee]

Source:
"Women In the Shade of Islam" - Abdulrahman Al-Sheha, pp. 33, 34

Virginia Tech Campus Shooting

Please make du'aa for our brother and sister who were shot at the Virginia Tech campus shooting yesterday, as well as all of the students, teachers and their families who were affected.

---------- Forwarded message ---------

Salam 'Alaykum,

As we keep praying for Allah SWT to help and protect the members of
the Virginia Tech community, and people everywhere, we must also take
this time to remember and pray for the loss of a member of the
Virginia Tech Muslim community, Sister Reema. May Allah SWT have mercy
on her and grant her the highest levels of Jannah, and ease this time
on her family and the other families and students in their community.

In shaa Allah tonight (Tuesday) HIS will be holding Salat Al-Janazah
(Funeral Prayer) in the Musalla at 9:05 PM, right after we pray Isha
at 8:55 for our sister.

Please also keep in your dua's another member of the Virginia Tech
Muslim community, Brother Waleed, who was shot and is currently in
critical condition. May Allah SWT speed his recovery and grant his
family and all others patience and strength through this time and
always.

wassalam

Sisters' classes in Garden Grove, CA.

Assalamu Alaykum WB,

Islamic Society of Orange County would like to invite all Sisters to a
Mothers of the Believers class series with Ustadha Shamira Chothia,
Please feel free to fwd to your Mothers, Wives & Sisters
We look forward to seeing you soon.

Sisters' only conference in Santa Clara, CA, April 21st!

http://www.mca-sfba.org/womens-conference-registration.aspx

Upcoming Bay Area Event: